He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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