I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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