He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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