just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
