Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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