The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
