It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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