Little spoons don't ask big questions
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
