So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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