My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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