Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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