hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
