you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
