It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
That was before I lit my hair on fire
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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