they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
