My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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