6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
