She just used a chaser for red wine.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
