I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
