found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
