If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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