Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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