if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
