Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
