How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
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