My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
