I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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