cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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