i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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