I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
