STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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