hell yes lets make some ravioli
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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