Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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