he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize