I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
