she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
