Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
