well I can't set my house on fire every night
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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