no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
