i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
