i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
