He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
