Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
