I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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