I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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