did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
