Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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