there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
