No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
