Swine flu. Run for my life!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize