did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
