Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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