do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You are the jesus of drinking
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize