My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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