matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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