ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize