Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
