She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Enjoy the penises
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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