Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize