This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
