I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
