I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
