you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
