just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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