Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
