I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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