you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
