so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
