worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
